April 17, 2005

Exercise some distance; practise some space

I either realised or was reminded of something yesterday. I can't decide if I realise it or got reminded because it's something that I seem to know all along but yet, it feels like something new too. Man, when one feels this way about any thing, it pretty much means their brains'r pretty messed up ya?

Anyway, I think that it's kinda sad that we often pass judgement on someone based on their behaviour and their many point of many views and then jump to our own conclusion about what this person is like. When we start jumping to our conclusions about someone, we basically don't give ourselves a chance to know them fully, do we?

Then, we act according to our constructed image of this person, making more assumptions about this person than we really should. And somewhere in the process, we find ourselves not knowing who this person is anymore. Especially when he/she begins to deviate from our image of who he/she is. So, is that one of the reasons why couples break up and tell each other things like 'people do change, feelings do change'?

Maybe that person didn't change at all. It's just that we didn't take the time and give ourselves more distance, more space to really know someone before we jump to our own conclusion.

Are we so anxious to put some labels on a person so that we know how to respond to that person that it doesn't quite matter anymore if the labels are not quite the truth about that person? Or maybe, not the whole truth. It was a painful fall from loving an inaccurate image to accepting that the image is not the person.

I'm still guilty of it. But, on my part, I already started reminding myself that defending one's opinion is not quite the same as defending oneself. And attacking another's opinion is not quite the same as attacking another.

'More distance, less haste.' That's what the FD says every morning on Class95. hee

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:37